Blog # 9

I have never heard about the widowhood effect and was fascinated to learn about the reasons of this phenomenon. The topic of widowhood is not widely discussed in Russia, and media never gives any attention to the stories related to the elder widows but comparing to countries like India, at least there is no tradition of putting widows in a separate category.

The article that I would like to discuss this week will bring an international perspective to the topic of the week on widowhood. The article that I picked was written by the former Head of the Department of Philosophy, Cotton College, Guwahati and is devoted to the social status of widows in India. Studying and living in the U.S. it is easy not to know about the cultures that treat widows like second-class citizens and lock them in separate communities. India, which is a highly segregated society even in the 21^st century, determines the conditions of the widows based on the traditions that are closely related to religion. Therefore, widows are marginalized from the families and communities, because historically Hindu women are responsible for husband’s health and therefore are blamed for his death as well. The article calls the death of a husband “the social death of a wife” because suddenly her life becomes restricted.

Historically Russian and American society did not stigmatize widows to the extent of the Indian culture because the codes of conduct and traditions are much less strict. In India a woman without a husband is incomplete, and even though nowadays they are not burned along with their dead husband, the life that they lead is truly miserable. I have read in other articles that there is a special city in India that is called Vrindavan, and around 20,000 widows are living there and waiting to die. Even though the laws allow remarriage it is totally against the Indian customs, therefore these widows do not have a chance to remarry. They are often brought to this city by their own families, and they are forced to shave their heads and wear only white clothes. Many of these women are on the streets begging for scraps of food, because they are not allowed to work. The scariest thing is that widows are of different age, including really young girls, they were thrown by their families and have to lead the life of a homeless beggar. No matter what laws the government is passing, the vast majority of the India is rural and the traditions are especially strong in rural areas, moreover when the country has a population of over a billion people they would never take the problem of 3 million widows seriously.

Questions for the class:

Have you ever read or heard how other cultures treat widows? What is your opinion about the widows’ status in India?

How do you think the U.S. views widowhood? Are there any stereotypes or negative attitudes towards widows?

Link to the article:

http://www.sentinelassam.com/op_ed/story.php?sec=33&subsec=0&id=83270 dtP=2011-07-28&ppr=1

Blog # 8

Few times in our last classes the question of same sex couples was raised and I would like to share a fascinating article that I found. The article “Gay Seniors Gaining More Options for Retirement Communities” states that the number of LGBT elders reached 3 million and is expected to double in the next 25 years, which brings an issue of where these people are going to retire, if, for example, they do not want to live in heterosexual retirement communities. As we learned from the class discussions same-sex couples tend to reach more for the community help than for the family help, moreover taking into consideration all the struggles they go through that heterosexual couples do not experience, I think many of them would feel more comfortable retiring as the article says “where their needs and life experiences will be understood”. The article discusses few examples of retirement communities that were created specifically for LGBT population (for example, RainbowVision Santa Fe, New Mexico; Triangle Square in Hollywood, California; The Palms of Manasota, Palmetto, Florida). These communities are supportive of LGBT population and they can live open lifestyle. The number of these communities in the U.S. is still low, around 25, mostly in Arizona, New Mexico, and Florida, as well as Boston, Los Angeles, New York, and Palm Springs. None of these communities are exclusive of heterosexual people because of anti-discrimination laws; therefore heterosexual individuals can move in too.

Questions for the class:

1) Are you in favor or against LGBT retirement communities? How effective do you think it is to build such separate communities?

2) When you retire, would you prefer to live in a retirement community or in a regular one?

Article link:

http://www.silverplanet.com/housing/gay-seniors-gaining-more-options-retirement-communities/56300

Blog # 7

The article that I would like to share with the class today relates to our discussion of the issue of sexuality in the nursing home. After the class discussion, the vast majority of the class agreed that as long as there is a mutual agreement of the elders to engage in sex there is nothing wrong in that and the nursing home administration should not intervene. While being under the jurisdiction of the nursing home, elders have the right to be independent and make their own choices (as long as they do not have mental illnesses)

The article “Sex Offenders Living in Kansas Nursing Homes” made me look at the problem from a different perspective. The article talks about Wichita Nursing Center in Kansas where seven registered sex offenders were living among the residents and it was found during the annual inspection in October 2011. Later it was found that this nursing home is not an exception, around dozens of sex offenders were living in the nursing homes across the whole state. This finding raised an issue – once sex offenders reach a certain age when they no longer can take care of themselves and have to be put in the nursing home, what should the state do in these circumstances? Some people propose a ban on offenders living in assisted living facilities, while others are saying that each state should build a separate facility for the sex offenders. To my mind these people are a threat for the residents, especially if they start dating and having sex with the residents, because they would definitely choose the most vulnerable residents. So even though I do believe that elders have a right to choose with whom to engage in sexual activity, this article shook my belief system. I also believe that the residents and their relatives have the right to know that there is a registered sex offender living in the facility, and it made me mad that the nursing home staff could not find these people in the database.

Questions for the class:

1) How do you think the states should regulate the issue of sex offenders and the nursing homes? Are you in favor or against separate nursing homes for sex offenders?

2) If you knew that your grandparent is engaged into the intimate relations with another nursing home resident how would you feel about that knowing that it can be a registered sex offender? What would you do?

The article link:

http://www.kansas.com/2011/10/16/2064099/sex-offenders-living-in-nursing.html

Blog # 6

After reading Dr. Radina’s article and watching a movie about The Red Hat Society I understood how important it is for elder women to gather and to be a part of a sisterhood. The organizations like The Red Hat Society help women to define themselves positively as they age, and be surrounded by people of the same age. This topic was really interesting and useful for me because my mother just turned 61 and leads a very isolated life. To my mind it is extremely difficult to start new friendships when you get older, because the pool of potential friend-candidates shrinks, moreover there are few places, where you can meet new people, for instance for my mom who is on the retirement the only place where she sees people is the church. It is important to understand that all elders are different and just because you are 50 years and older does not mean that you are seeking organizations like The Red Hat Society, for example my mother does not want to start new relations because of the lack of trust and being too tired to invest her time in continuous interactions, she is satisfied with being alone with her books, embroidering, taking care of her cats, and other hobbies.

The article mentioned that The Red Hat Society has chapters in 30 countries in the world, I tried to find a list of these countries and unfortunately I found only three: in Canada, Mexico, and Japan. It made me think if such organizations are more typical for developed or developing countries. I have a feeling that you need to be a middle class retiree in order to join organizations like that. As the video that I found, says “they're not volunteers, not raising money or seeking a cure to anything but boredom.” I observed my friends’ grandparents they were too busy with grandchildren and trying to survive, when you live on a small pension and do not have supermarkets but small stores where the prices range, you do not have time for fun or desire to fight boredom. The video says “Every club is different… Some like teas. Some like going to the theater.” How often do poor women go to the theaters or on a cruise?! When you do not have enough money to feed yourself and buy high quality food, you would not spend money on a purple dress and red hat, you have other financial priorities! Therefore, I think organizations like this while being very useful for women, at the same time are created in developed countries (U.S., UK, Canada) by women who have enough free time and financial resources to have all that fun that they are advertising. Another important difference between American and for example Russian, or African or Indian retirees is the fact that multigenerational homes are much more common in our countries than here, that is why there is no need to combat the loneliness in our societies because you are surrounded by your family all the time. While in the U.S. where the independence is so valued, elder women feel the need to socialize because they do not live with their children and grandchildren.

Questions for the class:

1) Do you think that lower middle class and poor women join organizations like The Red Hat Society?

2) Do you think the presence of the immediate family (for instance, when you live in the same house with your children or very close) has any influence on the woman’s decision to join The Red Hat Society?

Link to the video:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/01/07/eveningnews/main7224100.shtml